Showing Support for the LGBTQA Community

Where feminist issues meet religion, it is often difficult to have an open discussion with others. That's why I like to retreat to my feminist Mormon blogs where I can get a healthy dose of it, and don't need to worry about offending anyone. However, my friend Heidi courageously tried to open up a discussion with her roommates a while ago by asking them if they had ever experienced any gender related oppression or discrimination in church. None of them admitted to having any experiences of this kind, or feeling like any members should ever really feel this way. Then she asked them, "What if you were a Mormon lesbian?"

I certainly admire her guts in asking that question. It is blunt, and deserves consideration. I personally am not aware that very many of my acquaintances are LGBTQ, let alone LDS church members who are. But I can only imagine how difficult it would be to identify as one while also being Mormon. I'm glad that members are increasingly more sensitive to issues regarding sexual orientation, and are fostering the development and expression of greater love, tolerance, and acceptance for LGBTQ people. It's totally awesome, in my book. I even read that BYU recently hosted a panel discussion with a few homosexual and bisexual students. It had a big turn out, and was a positive and encouraging event. 

Showing support and understanding can begin in simple ways. I'll offer some suggestions from a handout I got in one of my classes a while back.

Ways to Show Support for LGBTQA Individuals

(Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Ally)

• Do not assume that everyone is heterosexual.
• Do not "out" people unless given permission to do so.
• Do not say "That's so gay." Interrupt and educate others who do use this phrase.
• Do not refer to a "gay lifestyle." This implies that there is only one way to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual; it also implies that sexual orientation is a choice.
• Do not refer to anyone's sexual orientation as a "choice" or "preference."
• Use gender-neutral language. Ask, "Are you seeing someone?" or "Are you in a relationship?" instead of "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" or "Are you married?"
• Respect students rights to remain closeted: for many students there can be tremendous negative consequences to coming out, including loss of friends, family, financial support, and basic safety.
• Avoid homophobic remarks, jokes, and statements. As you feel comfortable, confront these actions of hatred by asking others not to use derogatory language in your presence.
• Provide support to LGBTQA individuals who are targeted or subjects of heterosexist or homophobic jokes, comments, or assumptions (publicly or privately).
• Be aware of the coming out process and realize that it is not a one-time event.
• Validate people's gender expression. For example, if a male-born person identifies as female, refer to that person as "she" and use her chosen name. If you are unsure how to refer to a person's gender, simply ask them.
• Challenge your own conceptions about gender-appropriate roles and behavior.
• Educate yourself about LGBTQA history, culture, and concerns.
• Do not assume that a gay, lesbian, or bisexual person is attracted to you just because they have disclosed their sexual identity. Treat any interest that someone might show just as you would if it came from someone who is heterosexual. Be flattered, not flustered.
• Understand your socialization, prejudices, and privileges.
• Do not assume the sexual orientation of another person even when that person is married or in a committed relationship. Many bisexuals, and even some gay men and lesbians, are in heterosexual relationships.
• Talk with friends informally and openly about LGBTQA events or issues in the news, on TV shows, and in the movies.
• Remember that there are people in your halls, classes, clubs, and jobs who are LGBTQ.
• Be aware of your limitations. When the needs of LGBTQA individuals are beyond what you are trained to provide, refer students for counseling when appropriate.
• Educate yourself and provide correct information when you hear myths and misconceptions about LGBTQA people.

For more, check out these suggestions from USU's Access and Diversity Center.

I was grateful to learn some of these things, and have even passed some of the information along to some of my family that were confused about a particular topic. I hope that some of you will take some of these suggestions, and take the opportunity to learn more about the LGBTQA community.