The Man-Hater Stereotype and an Inclusive Look at Feminism

Many people are turned off and even antagonistic towards feminism because of the conception that feminists are man-haters. Well, maybe some of them are, but most of them are not. Historically, however, men have been painted as villains throughout feminist theory. I'll share a little bit of that (referencing bell hooks from her work, Feminist Theory From Margin to Center), but realize that the feminism that encouraged viewing men as the enemy was, and where it persists, is significantly shortsighted. I wish to share a different conception of feminism with you than the one you may imagine when you think of feminism, one which is fully inclusive of men as well as women, and one in which a positive goal is in store for all.

First, some history. One popular book from the era of second wave feminism in the 60s that you may have heard of, The Feminine Mystique, created a huge response among feminist-thinkers. It was written to address what the author, Betty Friedan, termed, "the problem that has no name" among American women. The problem, of course, being the discrimination, exploitation, and oppression that women faced in our society. In essence, she gave a name to the fear, repressed anger, depression, and anxiety that women knew, but could not confidently pinpoint.

Her solution was for women to, essentially, be like men. She advised women to seize the same opportunities that allow men their freedom and happiness in the world by having a career, and investing themselves outside of the home. The goal, as seen by Friedan, and many feminist theorists, was simply for women to become socially and politically equal with men.

However, critical analysis of The Feminine Mystique reveals that the audience it addressed was clearly very selective. Specifically, it was written for white, middle-class, dissatisfied, married women . It suited their situation well, and provided a much-needed discourse and movement for these women. However, it excluded many women, and men, from the feminist ideology of equity. For instance, consider the middle-class, white homemakers who decided to find a career and purpose outside of the home that would bring them a greater sense of satisfaction. Now what about the women who would take over their tasks of caregiver and housekeeper once they began focusing on their careers?

The oppression and exploitation that faced other women on the grounds of their class and race was ignored, and even, at times, sacrificed for the good of the feminist middle-class. bell hooks remarks, "They were ultimately more concerned with obtaining an equal share in class privilege than with the struggle to eliminate sexism and sexual oppression." Today, feminism has come a long way in addressing the viewpoints and needs of women across the globe regarding issues that go far beyond gender. But at this time the feminist movement gained strength focusing simply on the problem of gender inequity between middle-class men and women. These women wanted the same opportunities and rewards offered to men. The best way to achieve that seemed to be for women to compete with men for the same positions, success, and respect.

However, fostering competition with men in the search for freedom from male domination, understandably, did not lead to a harmonious revolutionary movement. Ironically, in many ways, the very movement for women's liberation is the subject of enormous oppression. Competitive attitudes have fostered an endless battle of the sexes, where women's gain is somehow perceived by some as men's loss. Unfortunately, in competing with men and dealing with male oppression, feminists designated all men "the enemy." As a result, another viewpoint that obviously went ignored by feminists was the oppressed male. "They were not eager to call attention to the fact that men do not share a common social status, that patriarchy does not negate the existence of class and race privilege or exploitation, that all men do not benefit equally from sexism." Men who suffered due to discrimination  and oppression based on class and race struggled too, and could hardly imagine themselves as having male privilege. Furthermore, the women who knew and sympathized with these men could not see them as "the enemy" that feminism portrayed all men to be.

Addressing these shortcomings by feminists, bell hooks says, "They were ultimately more concerned with obtaining an equal share in class privilege than with the struggle to eliminate sexism and sexist oppression." She further remarks,

The insistence on a concentrated focus on individualism, on the primary of self, deemed 'liberatory' by women's liberationists, was not a visionary, radical concept of freedom. It did provide individual solutions for women, however. It was the same idea of independence perpetuated by the imperalist patriarchal state which equates independence with narcissism, and lack of concern with triumph over others. In this way, women active in feminist movement were simply inverting the dominant ideology of the culture--they were not attacking it. 

 With that in mind, it's no wonder that feminists were often competitive, aggressive, and demanding. They were mirroring the way that men achieve economic independence and social success, because they wanted to be an equal part of what is largely a world forged by men in power. As a result, women have opportunities that are open to them through education and employment that were simply unheard of before the feminist movement. All criticism aside, this has been an amazing and awe-inspiring goal and achievement (with still many more steps ahead!). The potential for feminist achievement is extraordinary. Though today I feel it helpful to explore some critical aspects of feminism to understand the resistance and persecution it faces, I feel discouraged that the influence of criticism holds us back from exploring and advocating worthwhile causes.

Perhaps one problem in finding a focus on the cause, and not the criticism, is that as feminism has been explored from various perspectives, the goals and definitions of feminism seem to shift and refocus. It is difficult to know exactly what feminism stands for, and what it takes to be a feminist. Understanding the need to introduce a simple and inclusive view of feminism, bell hooks suggests that a good definition for feminism, rather than the movement for women to achieve equality with men, would be the movement to eradicate sexual exploitation and oppression. The former encourages viewing men and women separately, if not antagonistically. It also assumes that women must do the work alone, and that men do not struggle to achieve equity as well. The latter definition focuses on what the problem is, and how to fix it, and not on the identity of a victim and oppressor. It opens the way for harmonious discourse and solutions to be reached by everyone in the name of feminism. It creates the impression of a positive political movement for the globe (as it should be), rather than the personal pursuit of dealing with women's issues with men, in which it is often perceived and marginalized to be.

Feminists who hate men, in reality, are few and far between. However, as is understandable in considering oppression and exploitation, it should be expected that many men are at fault. There are going to be negative responses addressed at men for this behavior. But it is not all men. Men can be oppressed too. Women can be the oppressors. Men will oppress other men, as well as women. Women will oppress other women, as well as men. Gender is not the only or primary cause of oppression, but in many ways, it is the most pervasive. It doesn't require overtly hurtful or abusive actions to oppress others. Many times, we are not even conscious of the way we oppress others, as much of our actions are socialized behaviors. But socialization does not dismiss the responsibility we have to examine and change the hurtful things we think, say, and do. If you have been hesitant to fully support feminism, or if you support it but want to expand your focus and commitment, I urge you to look at feminism in this light, and see what the end of all oppression has to offer you and the rest of the world.